Myself and my friend, Engr. Abubakar Gambo, share a lot in common, whether it was in business, interests or hobbies. We have always been fascinated by our unique but common ways. For instance, we are united by a common affection for Late President Muhammad Buhari. Interestingly, Buhari was the vehicle for our understanding of the reason for our common tastes. We both often say, when discussing Buhari over the last two decades, that he behaved almost exactly as did the parents who raised us, (Alhaji Idrissa Gambo and Prof. M. Nur Alkali, both of blessed memories). We realized that both of us were the closest to our parents at the time they were old and thus had a somewhat similar upbringing.
We saw everything he did from the point of view of what they would have done, were they to be in a similar situation. For this, it was always easy for us to find the right meaning in most of the things he did. His body language. His cold therapy. His silence. His gestures. His humor. And a lot more.
Like them, he was thoroughly masculine. For a man, being fully masculine doesn’t simply infer a gender identity or an expression of a gender role or even the useless analytical dialectics of supremacy. Being truly masculine is beyond the scope of power relations, body-build or manly looks. It is essentially about going beyond our base desires, our whims and caprices. It is about being masters of our own ourselves, our actions and inactions, as well as holding ourselves to account.
Buhari is not easy to understand. He was a very simple man, and his simplicity was why he had remained complex to the simple-minded. This has always been the reason many find it inconceivable how and why a man of his privilege and access would still choose modesty.
If you read all the articles written about him, like a chorus, almost every one of them repeated one thing: that he was very austere. They are startled by his simple taste, dislike for outrageous luxury and material things. A lot could not understand why.
Buhari was always very satisfied with his own essence and existence. He neither felt inadequate nor unfulfilled. As such, he didn’t need any embellishment. If you feel inadequate (a deadly, hardly curable disease), as many are today, you would always try to compensate or fill it up with something. Then cars, buildings, clothings, titles… to the rescue. Ordinarily, you don’t need all of those to be adequate. You only need to fully take the responsibility of being a full-time masculine man and be content with that. Cars, mansions and clothings, even power and titles, among others, are just utilities, they are supposed to be at your service, not in theirs.
It is okay for a lot of people to hate Buhari. I sympathize with them. They went after all the things he despised, in order to fill up a void in their lives, but it only grew bigger the more they tried. To their dismay, they got all the things but still couldn’t feel adequate. He despised all and yet got it.
For example, they thought he also sought power to supplement or make up for a feeling of inadequacy in his life. No, he was content with himself to such an extent that he thought it was him who had enough from, and of himself, to offer the world. While others went in to take, he went in to give. They rigged, killed and paid their way into power, yet to no avail.
He needed nobody’s validation. He sought nobody’s approval. And he lived nobody’s life. He was just himself: Buhari. Whereas many got honor from titles or offices, it was him, in his case, who brought class, prestige and beauty to them, by just being himself, satisfied and grateful. Satisfied, grateful and self-assured, he lived all the way just to give of himself and everything he believed in.
But they want to stain his life and career just to feel adequate. They launched several attacks. They say he left his family or appointees to steal. They can not accept why he could be upright, and they are not. Instead of taking the highway, to emulate him, they insist on bringing him down to their level.
This is the antics of an immoral person. He is only satisfied when everyone else becomes like him. If he doesn't succeed, he creates a narrative in his head and spreads it.
Again, what my father told me. 'It is very easy to be bad. Don't take pride in being such things as hot-tempered, arrogant, or uncouth, even if you are. Anyone can be. And without any labour. If you want to be worth anything, try being good. Try honesty, patience, or accountability.' Most people cannot.
I remember a funny story about a couple who ran into a serious crisis a few years ago. I was assigned to mediate between them, as it has been my duty in the family. Despite my perfect credentials in the task, the situation had put me in a tough catch-22.
The husband, a very boastful man, would always hail himself as being this or that. He spoke loosely and without thinking about any consequences.
'I am a very wicked man. You don’t know I lived as a motor park tout, right? You do not know I am senseless? I am cursed.' I am this, I am that; he always told her. His reasons? I don't know.
One day, upon his arrival home, she tried addressing him with one of the favorite things he used to ascribe to himself. 'Ah, motor park tout, welcome home.' Unfortunately, she didn't know that he was the only one allowed to call himself with those ascriptions.
He was so bitter. It took weeks to pacify him. I advised him to start describing himself as honest, patient, kind, and so on, if he must.
Their problem with Buhari is simple. They aspire to be like him, but they can not. So they want to cancel him, and they are even more disappointed because, even in death, he can not be cancelled.
His eventful life of 82 years and unanticipated but highly assuring transition last week was an open invitation to all of us to dream as big as we can and work as hard as we can to attain them. This world is built so sufficiently, with absolute abundance and huge grace. As long as you live in it, you should seek; and work hard for whatever you believe in.
Buhari’s passing was not an evidence of vanity. The argument that wealth, power and privilege are all temporal is true, but it is the very reason you should seek them because even if you don’t, life is still temporal. You are just not allowed to take any of them to the heart. There are a lot of 82-year-olds who achieved nothing and still died. And there will be a lot more.
In this life of abundance, fashioned by a Generous God, dream. It is better—than nothing—to treat every other day you live here with a sense of urgency, to aspire, dream and work hard to achieve whatever you desire. Your dreams, be they power or wealth, can never be bigger than God’s provision! No matter how weird, nobody can ever seek a thing greater.
There’s another interesting discussion that trailed his passing, which is about who would inherit his political base. As someone who is keen on ensuring we prepare our kids effectively for the next generation, this conversation doesn’t excite me. I am more concerned about raising the next Buhari, or even better, in terms of discipline, order and integrity. As my father would always tell me, 'we all have a duty to provide the next generation with highly responsible, honorable and capable men and women who will lead, guide and protect, even if every other family fails.'
In the last 40 years, Buhari was one of the few, if not the only known Nigerian, to represent our collective idea of trust, probity and personal principles rooted in fear of God.
It is my solemn duty—if not yours—to provide the next generation with enough human resources with which to build upon our work and make life easier to the weak, less fortunate and the majority who are average, or mere consumers and passersby. May Allah grant President Buhari a mellifluous entry into the highest ranks of paradise, and may He grant us the ability to raise even better children. Amin.
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